A hair in his mouth

Last night Bryan and I were eating Shabbat dinner at a friend's house. At some point Bryan leaned over and said, "Oh my, there's a hair in my mouth - a long one. I sure hope its your hair and not someone else's." And when he pulled it out, there was a sigh of relief and he said, "Babe if there had to be a hair in my mouth - I'm glad its yours."

I think that basically sums up the new level I think our relationship has taken since getting engaged. Bryan and I both agree that even though we knew we were getting engaged, actually getting engaged totally elevated what we have. The fact that there is a person in this world, who said the sentence, "Whoa - thank g-d that was your hair in my mouth" is to describe a feeling of love and closeness like I have never experienced.

My last posting was all about the details of the proposal, but I left out the emotions I was feeling - on purpose, because when I wrote that last posting, the emotions were still fully developing, as the shock of getting engaged was wearing off.

I always imagined I would cry when Bryan proposed. But I was in such shock, I could barely answer yes. Things never happen when you expect them; Thursday, while walking the dog, the tears started flowing openly. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have met Bryan. How lucky I am to have met a man who recognized me as his soul mate, and who didn't play games or waste time, who makes me feel like I am a princess, and who treats me with such respect and love, that it makes me want to be a better person - to become a person worthy of Bryan.

"Will you marry me?"

That one sentence was the most powerful statement uttered to me. Imbued in those four words was the thing I never thought I'd hear --

"I choose you above all other people out there in the world. I'm placing my bets on you. I want to build a life with you and there is no one I would rather wake up next to in 50 years, no one I would rather partner a family with, no one I would rather love than you."

You can see why the tears flowed freely. And in my barely managing to whisper that one word to Bryan, "Yes," I was telling him, "In my eyes you are perfect. No matter what happens over the next 50, 60 or (please god) 70 years, you are the one I want by my side. Whatever curveballs life throws our way, I want you to be my batsman. I think you have such wonderful qualities as a person that I choose you as the future father of my kids, in the hopes that some of what makes you so special will rub off onto them."

I don't know if y'all have ever read bridal mgazines, but for the girls, you may understand the temptation of reading them. I refused to ever buy one, until I was engaged. I felt like it was a jinx, some right reserved only for the betrothed. Anyway, I finally went out a bought a few yesterday. One of the had an advertisement in it with the following phrase, "To love someone is to see a miracle to which everyone else is blind."

And I thank G-d every day that Bryan sees the miracle in me that no one else (not even I) can see.