What no one else tells you
No one hits on me anymore....No one tries to catch my eye on the bus, or strike up a conversation in the coffee shop.
I thought that maybe now that I've gotten engaged I let myself go to pot, but I think its the ring that's repelling the men.
I'm not saying I want to find a replacement for Bryan, or that I'm so ravishingly adorable that I had to fend men off with a stick. But I was used to having a guy ask for my number about once a week. And now, not so much.
For example, the day Bryan asked me to marry him I met some nice, older gentleman on the bus to school. He was a recent immigrant from the US, and we got to talking. I didn't think he was trying to hit on me, since he appeared to be about double my age (I later checked and he was 2 years shy of double my age). He mentioned he was moving to my neighborhood and asked for my number so he could be in touch when he moved in. Stupidly, I gave it to him, but I thought he was just being friendly. Then, while Bryan was proposing, the man called to ask me out on a date. I had a pretty good excuse for him!
Anyway, I'm noticing that this sort of stuff has stopped. While studying for a physiology final in a coffee shop the other day, I noticed a med student studying from the same textbook at a neighboring table. I saw him look my way, catch my eye, look at my hand....and stop.
When I told Bryan this he said, "Great - that ring was worth every last cent! I should have bought it earlier."
We've also discovered why the married couples are always the first to leave singles-style Katamon meals, and why they rarely talk to anyone.
Last week we were at our first singles meal since not being single. We invented a little game to keep ourselves busy while the rest of the dinner companions were busy making each other's acquiantance. The game was called, "Who would I hit on at this table if I wasn't engaged to you?" Bryan and I took turns guessing who the other would have tried to schmooze up if we were still single.
These are the little things no one tells you, but I'll give you the scoop.
I thought that maybe now that I've gotten engaged I let myself go to pot, but I think its the ring that's repelling the men.
I'm not saying I want to find a replacement for Bryan, or that I'm so ravishingly adorable that I had to fend men off with a stick. But I was used to having a guy ask for my number about once a week. And now, not so much.
For example, the day Bryan asked me to marry him I met some nice, older gentleman on the bus to school. He was a recent immigrant from the US, and we got to talking. I didn't think he was trying to hit on me, since he appeared to be about double my age (I later checked and he was 2 years shy of double my age). He mentioned he was moving to my neighborhood and asked for my number so he could be in touch when he moved in. Stupidly, I gave it to him, but I thought he was just being friendly. Then, while Bryan was proposing, the man called to ask me out on a date. I had a pretty good excuse for him!
Anyway, I'm noticing that this sort of stuff has stopped. While studying for a physiology final in a coffee shop the other day, I noticed a med student studying from the same textbook at a neighboring table. I saw him look my way, catch my eye, look at my hand....and stop.
When I told Bryan this he said, "Great - that ring was worth every last cent! I should have bought it earlier."
We've also discovered why the married couples are always the first to leave singles-style Katamon meals, and why they rarely talk to anyone.
Last week we were at our first singles meal since not being single. We invented a little game to keep ourselves busy while the rest of the dinner companions were busy making each other's acquiantance. The game was called, "Who would I hit on at this table if I wasn't engaged to you?" Bryan and I took turns guessing who the other would have tried to schmooze up if we were still single.
These are the little things no one tells you, but I'll give you the scoop.
posted by Noa at 10:56 AM
5 Comments:
I don't know - someone asked if they could set me up the other day - I told them that my wife wasn't into that sort of thing!
Shabbat Shalom
Gilly and Girly
Hate to say this but by all accounts, men get hit on a lot once they get their rings. I guess some women like a man they know other women will marry.
You used to get asked out once a week? Sheesh. Either you're a former miss Israel, or your culture is VERY different from mine. Here people are very shy to ask another person out, I haven't been asked out in months. Oh no wait I'm lying. I was in Israel a few weeks ago... ;)
I have to admit that I was basically invisible to most women UNTIL I got married. I don't know if it was the ring or some pheromone that married men give off, but suddenly I was 'interesting' to a huge number of single women.
My theory is that it is the same reason that all my gay friends had straight women hanging all over them all the time... there is simply something irresistible about something that is unattainable. Kinda like a dog chasing a car... lots of fun, but no way to drive it if it ever catches the damned thing! :-)
~treppenwitz~
I have already told bryan that I know he will get hit on more with the wedding band. My reasoning is that soemtimes women flirt for the sake of flirting. Not because they are interested in a man, but because they need some external validation that they are attractive or could get a guy if they want. The safest person to practice on is a married guy. There is hopefully no chance it'll turn into anything more than flirting, and if he doesn't reciprocate a gal can always just say "Of course he didn't flirt back, he's married! This has nothing to do with me".
And don't think I was this hot babe or anything, I think I just used to have an approachable face. On the upside, I have noticed that when I wear gloves, it all goes back to normal!
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