Monday, February 20, 2006

Snarky Sunday - Round One

I've decided to institute a new theme here at Jerusalem Revealed. See, I've noticed that being pregnant makes me even crabbier than usual, and while I've been sounding off more openly to those who make me mad, nothing beats a great ol' blog b**chfest.

But, I worry that every blog entry will become a rant. SO I've decided to limit my ranting to once a week. Eevery Sunday the Snarky Sunday award will go to the person, institution or phenomenon that has irritated me the most during the week.

This way, I'll definitely be blogging at least once a week (a major improvement), but hopefully will compelled to blog about positive things to balance it all out.

Without further ado....Today's Snarky Sunday Award goes to....

People who are contantly late (as if its merely a character trait, and not a sign of rudeness)

My dear husband has a few friends who are constantly late. My own husband has a somewhat cavalier attitude towards timeliness. If someone makes me late for something, my blood pressure shoots up at least 20 mm of mercury, and I am prone to ripping their head off. You cna see where the problem begins to occur. If it was up to me, I would not wait too long for the latecomers, I would simply move on without them. But my dear husband is too kind for that.

Saturday night, after another lovely Shabbat at our fantastic friends The Treppenwitzes (who stocked me full of good food and maternity clothes- thanks!) we were on our way to sheva brachot (a post-wedding party) for friends in another city. Just before we left Efrat this friend of my husband's, who has never been on time for anything in his life, including his own birth, called to see if we could go out of our way to pick him up and offer him a ride.

I wasn't too keen on it, but we agreed. We gave him a time to meet us, necessitating us to go out of our way, and him to take a taxi to the agreed upon meeting place. When we arrived, he wasn't there. We called him - he didn't answer his phone. When he did, it was to tell us he hadn't yet left the house, but he would be there in 10 minutes. Eventually, 45 minutes after the agreed upon meeting time, he showed up. After the first 10 minutes of him being late, I begged my husband to let us leave without him and teach him a lesson, but he wouldn't let. After 20 minutes, I begged again, but he wouldn't let. After 30 minutes, I started getting cross with my husband.

And once we finally got on the road, I was freaking out because we were going to be a good hour and a half late for the party (was a sit-down dinner, not cocktails) and because we were supposed to have planned a romantic dedication to the couple, except my husband neglected to tell me that until we were already in Efrat. The game plan was to stop at home, grab my violin, find the sheet music for this love song in Afrikaans, and play it. Clearly, that wasn't going to happen.

I got cross with Jeremy (the friend) and my husband. When stressed and late, I tend to backseat drive at my husband, who is a slow and deliberate driver (whereas I rarely drive less than 120 kmh, unless a cop is right behind me). So my husband got cross at me. Jeremy meanwhile is sitting in the back seat, enjoying watching the 2 of us bicker - never thinking for a moment he may have contributed to the stress in the car. Towards the end, I got so stressed I started to have what I think were contractions.

We got to the party after 10 pm (it started at 8:30) - there were no seats left, no food left, we interrupted someone else's romantic dedication (we never did ours), and the party was done about half an hour after we got there.

Bryan is still upset at me about the backseat driving - overlooking the fact that the section of driving from Efrat to the point where we met Jeremy saw absolutely no backseat driving, and the section form the party home was equally quiet. The only time I got stressed was when Jeremy was making us so late, it was basically rude to show up at that point.

I've noticed that the always latecomers tend to be single guys. Bryan tried it about once when we were dating, and I explained to him that it made me so angry and upset that he never did it agian. If he's running late, and a has a plausible reason, he calls to let me know.

So single guys - I say this to you. Showing up late is not simply a flake. Its says to the person waiting for you "I completely disrespect you and my time is far more valuable than yours". When guys used to show up late for a date (without a good reason) I knew right away that there would never be a second date. When a guy shows up on time, it shows he is considerate. Sure, showing up late is not so much a crime of commission, rather a crime of ommission. Its not necessarily saying "You mean nothing, so I didn't bother to come on time". It says, "You mean so little to me, I couldn't be bothered making coming on time a priority". Let's be honest, people don't show up late when they really want to be where they are heading.

When I had a date I was looking forward to, I was ready an hour before the date. I took time to get dressed, then re-dressed, a hundred times. When I had a date I couldn't care less about I made plans to do something else beforehand, and try to get back in time to slick on a fresh coat of lipstick before heading out. Did my dates notice the difference? Perhaps not. But I did. I knew I was sitting on a date with a guy I had initially found (for whatever reason) not to be primp-worthy.

Anyway, I've rambled from my original rant. But my point is this. Next time you're running late, call the person to let them know. Single guys, consistently running late may not piss off your buddies, but eventually it will piss off their wives. Their pregnant wives. Their b**chy, crabby, stress-out pregnant wives.

Jeremy called last night becuse he was (surprise!) running late for a date and had no idea where the restaurant was located where he was supposed to meet the girl. Already late, and he still had no idea where to show up. I know what that girl was thinking...and she wasn't impressed.


Anonymous Allison said...

I know plenty of women -- single and married, with or without kids, who are chronically late.

I have an automatic 20-30 minute lateness forgiveness factor built in for anyone with a baby or toddler.

Sometimes it's just impossible to get them out the door or get yourself out the door in time.

10:20 AM  
Blogger tafka PP said...

I was going to concur with Allison and say I was worried that this post was about me. But then I've never done anything *that* bad. Yet!

4:36 PM  
Anonymous treppenwitz said...

Well, at least you looked well-rested and calm when you left our place! :-)

Tell that husband of yours that his friends needs need to take a backseat (pun intended) to yours. That's what I was told to tell my friends, so it's only fair.

4:37 PM  
Blogger ALG said...

I am a single woman, and I am always late. There's always a reason, but not always a good one. I recently got a palm pilot and I've started to set alarms to go off 30-45 minutes before I need to do anything or be anywhere, and that's helped a little.

6:52 AM  
Blogger Jeru Guru said...

Dear Noa,

I'm with you 1000% on this one.

You are giving him a lift and he has to agree to your terms. The fact that he hadn't even left his house yet was undeniable chutzpah.

If this happened to me, my face would have been turning beet red and I would have steam coming out of my ears.

Bryan needs to make this up to you. A massage or a weekend getaway or anything else you want. I got stressed and all tense just reading the post - and you are pregnant!

How cool though that you play the violin. Tell me more about that.

Would Jeremy have read or be aware of this post? If so, do you think there will be any repercussions?

10:25 AM  
Blogger MoChassid said...

you go girl. No way I would have waited 45 minutes. No way. 15 tops.

4:20 PM  
Anonymous Essie said...

This is one of my biggest pet peeves! In my 8 years of dating I think 90% of my dates have been late--and they all think it's perfectly fine! I HATE giving people rides precisely for this reason. (and I am usually a nice person) If I am running late, that's my problem (although it rarely happens) but if someone else makes me late because I am doing him a favor? Inexcusable!

4:34 PM  
Blogger Fun Joel said...

Okay, first off, why would you reserve only one day a week for a beachfest? I love the beach! You should dfinitely go there more than once-- what? What's that? Oh it wasn't a bEAchfest? Oh, that's entirely different. Never mind.

Now then, I'm also with you 100% on this. I'm rarely, if ever, late for things. But at the same time, I must take issue with you singling out single guys. I know plenty of people of both sexes, both married and single, who act this way. The repercussions may be (rightly) worse for those guys, in not getting second dates, and whatnot, but other than that, the problem is more universal.

4:52 PM  
Blogger lisoosh said...

I'm always late too. Its genetic. My father is always late and my mother always mad so you would think I know better.

6:31 PM  

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