Sunday, February 26, 2006

The Day My Car Wasn't Stolen*

* borrowed from an article in the conveniently well-timed Friday edition of the Jerusalem Post.

I know its time for another Snarky Sunday post, but instead I had to share this one with the blogosphere.

I appreciated all of the mommies and pregnants who shared their stories of pregnancy brain-drain. I particularly laughed at Lisa who told me she used to stop at green lights.

However, if any of you had told me the following story was possible, or that I myself would someday be in a mindframe to be the lead I would never have believed you.

Friday was my friend's 30th birthday. We took her out to one of my favorite breakfast places, T'mol Shilshom. I drove to downtown Jerusalem, found a fairly decent parking space without too much difficulty, and even remembered to put money in the meter. But I only had enough small change for an hour and a half of parking. After more than an hour and a half I had to excuse myself to make sure I didn't get a ticket. I went back to the car to put more money in the meter, and I thought I heard the engine purring.

Now, there happened to be another Toyota Corolla parked directly in front of my car, so I figured that's where the noise was coming from. But just to be sure I put my hand on the hood of my car, and sure enough it was hot. This seemed rather mysterious. I reached into my bag to get my car keys, but they weren't there. I looked into my car, and the car keys were dangling from the ignition.

Yes, that's right folks, I parked the car, put money in the meter, and blithely went off to enjoy breakfast while leaving the keys in the ignition, engine idling, and driver's side window wide open for almost two hours!

I was basically in tears when I realized how stupid I had become. I don't know which part of the story shocks me more, that I actually did something so stupid or that no one took the car, or even anything in it. In fact, I'm even more shocked that the police didn't blow it up, thinking it was a booby-trapped bomb car. It was parked on a fairly busy side street in downtown Jerusalem.

The only explanation I can think of as to why no one helped themselves to an automobile that basically had an engraved invitation on the windshield saying "Free Car" is they must have thought it was a set-up. I mean, who would be stupid enough to do that?

I called Bryan (whom I was supposed to meet after re-feeding the meter) and told him he better come to me, as I was clearly too stupid to be allowed to cross the streets by myself. He was particularly sensitive about the whole matter (I suppose because I didn't give away the only semi-asset we have), but I did notice he had some trouble with a few of the lines during "Eshet Chayil" Friday night.

I handed him both sets of car keys and made him drive for the rest of the weekend. In fact, I walked everywhere today, though unfortunately I have to drive to Jerusalem tomorrow morning for another exam, and I'll never be able to do it by bus.

Bryan suggested that the way to avoid the absent-mindedness is to make lists for everything, but honestly, how can you anticipate needing a list for such mundane things? 1) Put toilet seat down 2) Pull underpants down 3) Sit on said toilet seat... There's got to be a limit, people!

Meanwhile, my formerly very-innie belly button has begun its transition to an outie...but that's a little TMI.


Blogger tafka PP said...

I've thought long and hard about this since your in-stupor call- and have decided that because you were engaging in the choshuve mitzva of making me happy as I turned 30, Hashem spared you the theft of the car.

- and I saw that Jpost article and thought of you :)

4:44 PM  
Blogger lisoosh said...

It's OK. It will get better. You just have to readjust your thinking a little. Your brain is adjusting its neural pathways (mothers have MORE) so that you will be able to focus on the baby and it is causing confusion. Just don't take old automatic moves for granted, take a step back focus on focusing and double check everything.
The good news is that one day you can have a conversation like this while driving:
"Don't hit your brother."
"I didn't hit him."
"Yes you did, I saw you."
"You saw me? How?" (said with utter confusion and a sneaky look that says "she caught me, how do I avoid that in the future?")
Or one of those moments when you are working but know something is going on by the length of the silence, and then your kids think you have x-ray vision.
Or waking up because your childs breathing changed ever so slightly and catching him/her before waking and crying and you wonder how you can be so sensitive.
Don't worry. It will get better.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Emah S said...

Just wait until the first time you lock your baby in the car.....that was one of those moments for me....only added to my stupidity was my FEAR and Terror because the kid(s) were involved. And unfortunately, it happened more than once. :(

Hang in there!!!

8:15 PM  
Blogger Fun Joel said...

Awesome. Just embrace it and laugh (as you seem to be doing). I'm laughing with you (not at you).

And the belly button is popping already?! That's early. ;-)

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I just have to share that about 1 month ago I went to a meeting at Hebrew University and left my keys in my car with the engine on for about 2 hours - (its amazing how little petrol it used). Unfortunately I have no pregnancy excuse . It did freak me out - but I thought it might help to know that you are not the first person to do this.

12:40 AM  
Anonymous siobhan said...

One day, when I was about 4/5 months pregnant, my husband and I had a day out. In the early evening, we arrived home to find the front door WIDE open. I'd been the last one out of the house, but had totally forgotten about things like putting the alarm on and locking up. Nothing (unbelievably) was stolen, but it freaked me out for the rest of my time and like you, I didn't trust myself. My dear husband has never let me forget it either!

4:20 PM  

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